When Are YOU Getting That Done?

Lets start this post by acknowledging something I always knew. I was not a great resident in my first year days. There are many parameters to judge a first year resident. Speed and accuracy are the most important. Communication is another which is vital to let others around coordinate the work. Hard work and willingness to put in the long hours, the ability to make decisions and know when they are out of their depth, good surgical skills etc comes much later in the second and third year.

So to commence, I was always two steps behind my colleague. Always counted on her help and am to this day grateful for her attitude towards me. Rather than be natural in a competitive world and shoot me down, which would have been easy, she just took on stuff that she SAW I was unable to do. That led to a lot of trust from me and in more ways than one I looked up to her. All this was noted by the seniors and they always encouraged us to do better. My seniors also were never ones to berate me. Always encouraging and helpful.

There was a time though she was on leave and I had to manage the workload myself. It was crazy as I had to a bunch of ward work and then go to OPD and first year always has to be everywhere first. There was this particular dressing in the ward which was not only very dirty to do, but also time consuming and essential for the patient. As I started the dressing my senior called and inquired as to whether I will make it on time. I said, "No sir, I have to do this and will definitely be late by 15minutes." He flatly told me that if I expected to take so much time to do this dressing, I was surely doing it wrong. In short, he told me to get my rear to the OPD on time.

Cutting to the main bit, I pushed through much quicker and got it all done and made it on time.

Somehow the pressure of living up to their expectations and NOT falling further behind in my own assessment of myself made me do that bit faster. All the while I was cursing them for expecting me to do all this in such little time. When I got to the OPD, they asked me if I had finished all the work. My positive response to them was maybe not heard by them in the same way I heard it myself. They said that I hope I realised that I could be much faster and were maybe happy with my effort.

Three amigos

But to be really honest, that day when I told them "Yes, all work is done." was the first time my self esteem rose in my eyes. I actually breathed a sigh of relief. There was no safety net of my colleague. There were no excuses. I had pushed myself and unlocked a level which I didn't know existed. I then believed in myself.

After that even though my colleague was boss, and I was second fiddle, a role which I preferred by the way, I knew I had it in me to do the needful when the time arose.

Pushing oneself to the limit can be a life changing factor. The reasons may be myriad, but do not deny yourself that opportunity to be pushed to create a new you.

“Limits like fears are often just an illusion.” -Michael Jordan